Kristine Dang #11: Toxic Positivity
What is toxic positivity and how does one avoid it? These are the questions that I came across while reading the article Toxic Positivity vs Healthy Positivity by Sarah Jeanne Browne. She describes toxic positivity as a term that disregards a person’s struggles or mental health and suggests that the person “didn’t try hard enough.” Examples of these terms are “stop being negative,” “others have it worse than you,” or “you’re exaggerating.” Toxic positivity causes the person to feel “repression, shame, regret, failure” etc. because they feel that they are being weak or insignificant to society. Additionally, Browne discusses solutions to counter these feelings and resolve the pain or anxiety that they may be experiencing.
Listening to someone’s struggles and coming up with useful solutions to fix the root of the problem or just reminding them that they aren’t alone are some examples of healthy positivity that should be utilized more often. However, it is also important to be able to cope with your own negative emotions besides knowing how to help others. Browne emphasizes the power of acknowledging your emotions and accepting them rather than pushing them away. By doing this, we are “processing the pain” which allows us to understand it and cancel it out with healthy positivity. This allows us to heal and in other words, “make peace with what you feel and want to ultimately release whatever is bothering you.” Whether the mental negativity is trivial or significant, it is important to practice sympathy and kindness towards yourself and others as often as possible.
Hey Kristine! I hadn’t really thought of how telling people stuff like that implies that they should just suck it up and might actually make their problems worse. Accepting your feelings is an important part of accepting who you are and doing so inherently requires you to be satisfied and transparent to yourself. I also feel like sometimes people should be clear about whether they want as in sometimes if people want just to rant they should be clear. That being said, if someone has some serious struggles they should also consider getting professional help, because the simple fact is that most people aren't emotionally equipped to deal with both their own and other peoples troubles. Empathy is still important nonetheless, and a friend’s ability to make you feel better should not be underestimated.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristene, I personally hate it when people show toxic positivity, especially the phrase "others have it worse than you." This phrase essentially invalidates whatever you are going through and is a horrible mindset to have or push onto others. Just because others have it worse than you does not mean that you aren't struggling either. This compares your own problems and makes them seem less than what other people have. I think a lot of times people can say things like this unintentionally even, but it is really harmful to the person they are addressing. It is really important for us to watch what we say and consider the effect it might have on others.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristine! Toxic positivity can be harmful, especially when people are able to convince you that they are just trying to help you, implying that it is your fault for taking those words to heart. A lot of times though, toxic positivity is also unintentional, so it's great that we're talking about this. When I'm feeling down, I really don't like to hear that others are suffering more. That invalidates your feelings at the moment, and makes you feel like your struggles don't matter just because they are small. I have been told from a young age that I am quiet and that I should open up more, about things small or big. But opening up, only to get shot down and invalidated, perpetuates a cycle that makes people more hesitant to let out what they are feeling. I definitely agree that accepting your feelings are very important, to help both yourself and others.
ReplyDeleteKristine, what an informative post. Yes, I think many of us are inclined to change how a person is feeling especially when they are experiencing a negative emotion but like you have said it is important to acknowledge those emotions. Acknowledging and accepting negative emotions shows the person that you appreciate and care about them anytime. Trying to fix your friends may make your friends think that you do not like them sad but you know that is not true. Hopefully, more people understand that the display of negative emotions should be treated the same as the display of positive emotions.
ReplyDeleteHey Kristine, the importance of giving those who doubt themselves positive affirmations really is necessary. Although I feel like I cannot personally relate with them, I can completely understand why some people feel immense doubt within themselves in certain situations. Upon hearing such things from such people, I always try my best to make themselves feel better and give healthy positivity for them. I believe, if everyone can give these healthy positivities to those around them, our world today will soon turn into a much happier place as self-doubt will steadily decline.
ReplyDeleteHey Kristine! Toxic Positivity is actually something we’re learning about in Health. Things like toxic positivity and back handed compliments can often indirectly target one’s self esteem and push people down the path of depression. Surrounding yourself with toxic positivity can really be elusive and tricky because oftentimes it’s disguised as positive advice, when in reality, it's just as demeaning and emotionally damaging as a direct insult. Just like you said, it’s really important to maintain and practice compassion and be aware of the effects we have on ourselves as well as the people around us. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI have such strong opinions on toxic positivity because I think that for a lot of people that is the first instinct. I read a post once that said something to the effect of “the antidote to sadness isn’t positivity, it’s warmth” and I’ve always held that close to me. Sadness isn’t cured by hindsight, and toxic positivity just teaches people that they are not allowed to feel their feelings, which is a large enough problem in America as it is. I’ve always struggled to grieve or feel “negative” emotions but at the end of the day, suppressing any emotion just leads to numbness and it is important to learn to not only be warm to others but to ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHey Kristine, toxic positivity avoids the crucial point of actually addressing the problem and instead only insinuates that everything is ok and nothing is wrong. Displaying toxic positivity is essentially indicating you are unwilling to listen. It rejects negativity and only focuses on positive emotions, but the suppressed feelings accumulating can take a huge mental toll on people. Taking the time to acknowledge your emotions is definitely crucial to your mental health and everyone should take the time to do so. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Kristine! I think it is a common misconception that all positivity is good. However, that is actually far from the truth. As you pointed out in your blog, toxic positivity can be very harmful and detrimental to a person’s self-worth. People should not be forced to always look on the bright side and compare their lives to others. It is definitely important to practice patience and give an ear to someone who is going through a tough time. Instead of always trying to be positive, it is better to reflect on the negative and let it out by talking about it with a friend. Thank you for sharing!
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