Pranav Sreejayan Week 14: A never ending annoyance
Week 14: A never-ending annoyance
This week’s blog is one where I will be addressing something that has deeply annoyed me a lot since forever: nostalgia. Since coming here to Fremont, one thing I have noticed amongst my friends is a tendency to drift back to the past like Thornton and childhood. My annoyance with this is never-ending, and has led to a pathological dislike of the words “middle school” and “elementary”, along with it leading to some tensions with me and some friends. However, I got to thinking that maybe nostalgia might be bad (I am greatly biased against it, shockingly) and got curious about how it would affect a person’s mindset.
Thinking about it logically, it can’t be healthy to reminisce that often. The simple fact is that staying stuck in the past does prevent you from changing for the better in the future. If you are constantly thinking about that time that someone lit a trash can on fire in 7th grade, and talking about that most of the time, you prevent yourself from creating meaningful connections and more memories that are good because of your idealizing the past. There is also the simple fact that you might be idealizing a time that never existed. Human memory is rarely a reliable narrator, and no better example exists than the nostalgic tendency to remember the “good old days” despite those days probably not actually being better. It might lead to feelings of depression and even anxiety as you attempt to recreate those days or fail to match up to what you perceived yourself in those days to be.
Now of course, as someone who is usually the new(er) kid, I feel the effects of these people especially. I might be a victim of simple confirmation bias as I only notice the times people talk about their pasts which I wasn’t a part of. However, either way it is quite annoying as nostalgic conversations are inherently exclusive since not everyone was always part of memories. By being exclusive not only do you invite people’s judgment, but also dislike from those who have been left out.
Despite my dislike for it, I must concede that it is a useful way to learn about people, when done in moderation. Sometimes, people have really interesting anecdotes, experiences and thoughts on things that can be fun to hear about. In moderation, nostalgia can be a tool for self reflection and improvement, so its power should not be underestimated.
However, its inherently exclusive nature, along with its negative effects on the personality of those who indulge in it, bias me against nostalgia. My life has not been a very static one so my mantra is to generally try to look to the future and change myself to suit the future, rather than dwell on a past that I can neither change nor achieve again. As Dante said, “There is no greater sorrow than to recall a happy time when miserable.”
Works cited:
https://reporter.rit.edu/views/hindsight-isnt-always-2020-dark-side-nostalgia
Hey Pranav! Personally, most of my friends now are essentially the same friends I had growing up, and the same people I have since then stuck with throughout middle school and high school. While we reminisce about many of our easy-going childhood memories, I must be honest and say that we’ve had our fair share of fights about it. We all do things we aren’t proud of, and quite a few of my elementary days reflect that. We’ve all cringed over some of our embarrassing moments, and there is really no need for anyone else to constantly bring that up and make each other uncomfortable. This was a very unique take on nostalgia, one I hadn’t ever really given much thought to. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Pranav, I never considered how you might feel about this subject, as I grew up with the same people around me and shared so many memories with them. I appreciate you opening up about how you feel towards this. From my perspective, I think nostalgia is a good thing and really sweet. Sure, it's not good to stay stuck on the past, but that's not what nostalgia is, at least to me. It's sharing memories you had together with a person or group of people, and the lasting memories of joy and sweetness of "the good old days." However, I never thought about it from your angle, as someone who isn't to share as many memories with the people around you at the moment, and I think that's okay too, as you can focus on the present or the future. I think you may feel a bit left out when you hear others talk about their shared past, and that is completely understandable. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeletePranav, I would disagree with your argument in this post. I definitely enjoy reminiscing about them and remembering the past with my friends, especially in high school. High school has been pretty tough for me and especially living in the Bay Area there is an immense amount of pressure to succeed and do good. So, for me, remembering the past gives some joy and a release of serotonin, remembering the stress- free times of our life. I do understand your point that you do feel left out of the conversations with your friends but maybe understand that they are reminiscing about stress free days and past memories to cheer them up.
ReplyDeleteHi Pranav, I agree that at times while others discuss memories from the past it can be a bit annoying especially when they ask if you were there repeatedly. I experienced this in the past when all of my friends were in a class together and I was the only one who did not have the same teacher as them. They would constantly bring up assignments or inside jokes that I did not understand and would get annoyed if I asked them to explain. Sometimes when they did explain, however, it would be enjoyable to discuss if I was able to talk about my similar experiences or memorable events as well so that I would not be left out.
ReplyDeleteHey Pranav, this is an interesting perspective on nostalgia. People often like to find similarities when they are with others, forming stronger bonds since they can share their experiences. I think I can see how you may feel this way about nostalgia. Maybe not to the same extent, but like when people coming from the same elementary schools different from mine talk about their old elementary school teachers, I find it hard to join in on the conservation because I don’t share the same experiences thus having less to contribute. The feeling really sucks, but hopefully once you find others who can also relate to similar experiences as you, then maybe you would see nostalgia in a more positive light. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Pranav, I can definitely relate to you the feeling of being left out when a group talks about nostalgia and the "good old days." Having attended around five different elementary schools during my elementary years, I felt like I was always the "new kid" and felt out of touch with the rest of the friends in my friend circles. Because so, whenever I hear them talk about things like the past and what happened in grades before the current, I often felt out of touch. I can definitely relate to the feelings you feel that you described in your blog post. Thanks for your insightful blog, and I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
ReplyDeleteI’ve had moments recently when I, in the moment, think “man I’m going to miss this and man that’s going to hurt” and I think that’s the beauty of nostalgia.That there are moments where the love is so heavy and the happiness so pure that we look back on them over and over. I’ve created an album on my phone called “core memories” in which I put videos and pictures of times I don’t want to forget and I felt beyond happy or at peace in and it’s been a really beautiful thing to have because it just reminds me of why I’m here. It’s to experience happiness and love and to find people who make me feel alive, and nostalgia is a hell of a drug but the rush is more than worth it.
ReplyDeleteHi Pranav! I am also not a huge fan of nostalgia since it reminds me of times that I wish I could go back to, but I know that it is impossible. However, most of the time the feeling of nostalgia can not be controlled when I see something that reminds me of my childhood. When I see a barbie doll, my brain automatically travels back to when I was around 8 and playing pretend with my sisters each with a barbie in our hands. A taste of my favorite childhood food brings back all the memories. It just can’t be helped. Although, I do think that nostalgia is too overrated and that it is unhealthy to focus too much on the past and not focus on the movement. I do think that it is enjoyable to occasionally look back at the past and remember those memories buried deep within my mind. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Pranav! I can relate to how you feel as being a "newer kid" and not being able to connect with people when they bring up the past. Since I moved to Fremont before 9th grade, I didn't go to Thornton, so I do end up feeling left out whenever my friends talk about times from junior high and because it seemed to me that everyone already knew each other. While I don't like this part of nostalgia, when you aren't in touch with everyone else, I am very fond of nostalgia and looking back at the past. The points you make are completely valid, and it is definitely not good to stay stuck in the past, but sometimes reminiscing and thinking of good times from the past give me strength to keep moving forward. Nostalgia can be both a blessing and a curse sometimes, as you can end up regretting not being able to go back to better times, but I really love looking back at core memories fondly.
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